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This is your free (unless you wish to send us $1000), personalised "notmensa online IQ test for dummies" test results. Thank you for attempting our I.Q. test. Detailed below is a complete and utterly accurate assessment of your intelligence quotient and a complex analysis of your personality and character (if you have one). Provided your IQ meets our stringent entry requirements you will be offered free lifetime membership of notmensa and access to all the benefits and privileges that this elitist interplanetary society provides. (We reserve the right to not actually have any benefits.)

Score	93.25 %
I.Q.	143.08468363886 ( Well above the average for a person of your shoe size - not bad for someone who otherwise is dull and ignorant )
Personality	Although exceptionally intelligent you are exceedingly boring. this is why you are shunned by most people and animals higher than rodents in the food chain.
Self Esteem	You mistake other people's repulsion for you as respect. As a result you consider yourself to be popular and lovable. Your egotism will crumble when you realise that you are just an exceptionally clever moron with bad breath.
Emotional	You tend to fall in love with people (sometimes of the opposite sex) that you glimpse in the street. Due to your egotism you believe that they love you too (even though they didn't even see you) Subsequently you sit by the phone, somehow expecting them to track you down and plead with you to runn off and marry them.
Honesty	You are a complete scoundrel and would steal the milk from your mother's breasts.
Other Traits	You love love and would do anything to have a relationship with someone of the opposite sex - no matter how hideous they looked..
Disorders	You have a latent fear for the letter Z. Now that it has been pointed out you will never read a book again. You are masturbating incorrectly (this is causing your bad breath).
Career Suitability	Dictator of a small communist country. Part time hypnotist Crash Test Dummy

notmensa membership	Sorry!!! You are far too intelligent to join notmensa. So piss off. (OR SEND US LOTS OF MONEY)

Utterly Important Disclaimer: Not Mensa do not undertake testing of any sort on apes, rabbits, frogs, carrots or any other animals with an I.Q. greater than that of our societies members. This is not because we are an humane society � rather we just do not have the skills to participate in cruel, pointless testing on clever creatures. We do however reserve the right to partake of sweet and sour chicken on club nights and to eat haggis, pork pies and sausage whenever we like. No member of Not Mensa will ever be asked to undertake brain surgery to lower their intelligence � however, any member who consistently scores more than 85 will be banned from the society until they bring their intelligence under control. Should you be stupid enough to join or email list we will not bombard you with emails or pass on your details to any 2^nd, 3^rd, 4^th or 5^th party. (Party includes hen nights, disco parties and stag nights) We do reserve the right to email members information that may be of a totally boring and pointless nature and may not make sense to even the author. We also reserve the right to modify the rights without notifying members or actually writing these modified rights on the membership handbook or this website. All email questions regarding membership rights or any other matter will probably be ignored � unless incredibly funny.

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