Your totally free,
unpaid for,
personalised "notmensa
online IQ
test for dummies" results and analysis.
Thank you for taking
our dumb I.Q. test. Shown below is a complete and accurate assessment of your
intelligence quotient and a complex analysis of your personality and
lack of character.
Provided
your IQ meets our stringent entry requirements you will be offered free
lifetime membership of
notmensa and access to all the benefits and privileges
that this elitist interplanetary society provides (if there were any).
Score
17.1 %
I.Q.
25.09
Personality
You have the personality of a toilet
brush - intellectually dead but good for moving shit. For you, thinking
is an optional pursuit and you tend to make decision based on basic animal
instincts rather than logic.
Self Esteem
Being totally unaware that you are completely
stupid you blunder through life believing that you are interesting, respected and
attractive. Therefore your self-esteem is remarkably high for someone who can
barely spell the word "Me"
Emotional
You run a rollercoaster of emotion (or
could it be a ghost-train?).
One minute you are ecstatic at finding a plastic toy in your mouth while
eating your cornflakes the next you are upset at not being able to tie the
laces on your Velcro shoes.
Honesty
You are too ignorant to be dishonest - yet
telling lies comes natural for truth is beyond your limited understanding
of reality.
Other Traits
Likely to talk with a stutter.
Easily dominated (especially at seedy nightclubs).
May have malfunctioning bladder. (visit your
doctor or buy some incontinence pads)
Disorders
A tendency towards extreme obesity.
Low sex drive. (apart from when at seedy
nightclubs).
Likes cucumbers - intimately.
Career Suitability
International Spy
Politics
Road Kill
notmensa
membership eligibility
Well done!
You are an ideal candidate for exclusive free
membership to notmensa.
Please go to the application page.
Disclaimer:
Not Mensa do not undertake testing of any sort on monkeys, rabbits, dogs, cats
or any other animals with an I.Q. greater than that of our societies members.
This is not because we are an humane society – rather we just do not have the
skills to participate in cruel, pointless testing on clever creatures. We do
however reserve the right to partake of sweet and sour chicken on club nights
and to eat haggis, pork pies and sausage whenever we like. No member of Not
Mensa will ever be asked to undertake brain surgery to lower their intelligence
– however, any member who consistently scores more than 85 will be banned from
the society until they bring their intelligence under control. Should you be
stupid enough to join or email list we will not bombard you with emails or pass
on your details to any 2nd, 3rd, 4th or 5th
party. (Party includes hen nights, disco parties and stag nights) We do reserve
the right to email members information that may be of a totally boring and
pointless nature and may not make sense to even the author. We also reserve the
right to modify the rights without notifying members or actually writing these
modified rights on the membership handbook or this website. All email questions
regarding membership rights or any other matter will probably be ignored –
unless incredibly funny.
The Little Book of
Stress :
Packed with practical
suggestions that will raise your blood pressure, stoke up that tension and drive
you totally crazy!
